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Showing posts from January 13, 2018

Have I done something wrong

Pta nhi q rat hote hote uski yad ane lagti h. Samajh nhi aa rha kyaa karu. Par itni jaldi haar nahi maanna chahta. Par wait bhi nahi hota. Shayad muje peena shuru kar dena chaie, peene se sare gam door ho jate hai.
Pta nhi kaise kaise khayal aa rhe h dimag me, kash on off switch hota dimag ka.
Mai chah kr bhi nhi chor sakta use.

This is the END

Pta nhi maine aese msg q kie
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[13/01, 14:26] me: Ise kehte hai dost, tu to dosto se bhi zada gai guzri nikli. Muje laga ki mujhme hi koi problem hai, ab pta chala, mujhme nhi, problem tujhi me thi, mai bs khudko kosta rha. Bas kabhi ye nhi socha tha ki tu bhi sab logo ki trah matlabi hogi. Mai nhi reh sakta tere sath, mai khud pareshaan ho sakta hu, but apne gharwalo ko nhi kar sakta, tujhse shadi ki to yhi hoga. Bcoz family doesn't matter you at all.
[13/01, 14:28] me: I hope jisse teri shadi ho, uske sath mere jaisa behave na kare. I m sorry, mai galat tha, mai nhi reh sakta tere sath. You need money, not love, ambani ke ladke se shadi kar lena, bhoot pesa hai, but mere se kabhi mat karna.
[13/01, 14:29] me: I hate you.
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Mai bhi kisse pyar ki ummed rakh rha tha. Mai gussa nhi hu, bas ye soch rha hu ki log kaise badal jate hai. Kam hota hai to yad ate hai nhi to koi matlab nhi. Jab uske koi friends nhi the, jab vo akele thi, tab mai hamesha uske sath tha, aj... Aj us…

The Last Message

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[13/01, 09:50] me: Muje pta hai mai wapas waisa hi behave kar rha hu jaise pehle kia tha, but maine promise kia tha ki agar mai vesa kuch dubara karunga to mai khud hi chala jaunga teri life se. Or mai apne promises kabhi nhi todta.
[13/01, 09:56] me: Kash tuje kisi ke samne rona na pade pyar ke lie. Shayad mai tujhse bhoot zada expect karta hu. Ab nhi karunga. Q ki koi fayda nhi. Desert me pani or tere dil me pyar, dono milna mushkil hai. Bas apna dimag kharab mat hone dena ye msg se.padhna ho to padhna nhi to mita dena, vese b tuje fark nhi padta, kisi b chez se, mai jeeyu ya maru, usse b nhi. Muje lagta hai agar mai hospital me apni akhri saase gin rha hounga to bhi tu apni life, apne office ke 2 min nikal ke mujhse baat nhi karegi.
[13/01, 09:59] me: I am sorry, par mai uss ladki se pyar ki ummed rakh rha tha jo vo kabhi pehle thi. You r not the one whom i loved once, jisse muje har time dubara pyar ho jata jab b vo call karti. Muje laga tu whi h, par tera sirf naam hi &qu…

I am fine

Muje laga ki vo call karegi ya whatsapp pe msg karke puchegi ki ab kaisa hu, but use fark hi nhi padta, use fark nhi padta mai thek hu ya bimaar, use fark nhi padta ki mai zinda hu ya mar gya. Use hamesha bas apne se hi matlab tha, bas uska kaam hona chaie, baki duniya gai bhaad me, pta hai aj ya kal me use ek govt exam ka form bharna hai, or aegi phone karte hue puchne ki isme kya bharu. Pta nhi q mai uske peeche pada hu. Ab shayad bhoot ho gya, bhoot kuch kar lia uske lie, ab shayad apne lie karunga. Or Use ye tab samajh aega jab uske sath hoga, jab uski fikar karne wala koi nhi jaise mai karta hu. Fir use pta chalega ki usne kya khoya. Use paise kamane me maza aa rha hai to kamane do, mai bhi dekhu ki un paiso se vo kitni khush rehti hai. Pta hai agar mai apne dosto ko b batata ki mai bimaar hu to vo usse bhi zada chinta karta, vo to mere dosto se b zada gai guzri hai. Vo ladki muje kya kisi ko b pyar nhi kar sakti, matlabi. But mai uska bura nhi chahta, muje nhi rehna uske sath. B…