First time I am not happy at my hometown

Pta nhi par lagta hai ki vo mujhse kuch chupa rhi hai.shayad vo abhi bhi us ladke se milti hai,uske office wala.maine usse pucha ki vo kisi or ko like karti hai ke nhi,usne "no" kha,lekin muje nhi lagta. 10 din se baat nhi ki usse,na hi usne phone kia,or na hi msg karti hai,boli ki job chorne ke bad sab thek ho jaega,lekin sab wapas kharab ho gya hai. Bolti hai ki job le, kam se kam baat to kar,har jagah se block kar dia usne.samjh bhi nhi aa rha ki use manane ke lie karu bhi to karu kya. Usse bola hai ki job lag jaegi is month ke end tak. Tab tak laga lunga job.pta nhi uski life me kya chal rha hai, or vo q mujhse baat nhi kar rhi. Use maine msg beja, uska reply tha, dont text me, i cant read these.

Hi, it's me,yad h hum 10 me sath padhte the.pta h tu mujhse bhoot zada nafrat karti thi.mai tujhse bhoot zada pyar karta tha.jab tune pallav se baate karna shuru kia tab bhoot gussa ata tha,lekin mai kuch kar bhi nhi sakta tha.fir dhere dhere humne baate karna shuru kia,sab sahi chal rha tha fir Maine 11 me sab khatam kar dia tha.12 ke bad tune fir mujhse contact kia. Vo 2 sal shayad tune akele bhoot mushkil se nikale honge.fir tu patna aa gai.pta hai vo 1 sal meri life ka sabse acha pal tha.pta hai mere pas vo sari recordings hai,bas sun nhi sakta,q ki vese b teri bhoot yad ati hai,agar vo suna to....
Fir tu Banglore aa gai, uske bad ye 3 sal kaise nikle pta hi nhi chala.lekin pichle saal bhoot sari galatfehmiya us depak ki wajah se.or tere se shadi ki,or mai ye samajhne laga ki mai tujhpe zabardasti kar sakta hu.bas fir kya pyar gusse or jhagde me badal gya.tu mujhse bas door rehne ki kosish karti bcoz mai tujhpe bas bhookta rehta.i know i am too bad towards you.fir mai us pteeti ke chakkar me...
Pta hai 2013 me mai tuje bolta rehta tha ki bas mera dept change ho jae, fir mai tujhse milne aa sakta hu.har sal bolta ki chuttiyo me milne aunga,lekin kabhi nhi aya.or fir uper se tujhpe control karna.jan me muje laga ki shayad sab thek ho jaega,lekin agar dal me namak zada ho jae to chahe kitna bhi dahi dal do, dal hamesha namkeen hi rhegi.maine tere sath kabhi kuch acha nhi kia, tere ghar jeena haram kar dia maine tera,tuje har kisi pe pitwaya.fir bhi mai tere se ye ummed laga kr betha hu ki tu mere sath apni life bitana chahegi.abhi to itna door hu,tab itna kuch ho rha hai teri life me,agar mere pas hogi to teri kya halat hogi mai sochna bhi nhi chahta. Muje pta hai tu abhi bhi us ladke se milti hai.or vo shayad meri trah gussa nhi hota hoga tujhpe.pta h mai hamesha yhi sochta tha ki mere se zada khush tuje koi nhi rakh sakta,tere parents bhi nhi,bcoz tu hamesha bolti thi ki ashok muje leja yha se.par shayad koi oor hai jo tujhe mujhse zada khush rakhta hai.mai bas tujhe khush dekhna chahta hu,or mai khush hu ki koi h jo tuje bhoot khush rakhega. December me maine socha ki 1 april ko khud ake tuje Ring pehnaunga,par firse yha fas gya.fir socha tha ki tuje teddy pasand hai,to ek chote se teddy me ring dalke tuje send karunga 14 ko,lekin tune address hi nhi dia.tu hamesha bolti h ki mai tere papa ki trah bat karta hu,to tuje agar vo pasand h to mai tere sath hu,agar kuch bhi problem ho to bta dena.vese problem meri vajah se hi hoti hai hamesha.muje pta hai tu mere pas kabhi nhi aegi.par mai abhi bhi koi achi job dhundne ki kosish karunga,shayad kuch sal bad tu Mera number dhundke fir mujhse contact kare,tab honi chaie na mere pas koi job tere parents ko manane ke lie.muje laga tha ki mai tera hath humare budhe hone tak nhi chorunga,par shayad ab vhi hath kisi oor ke hath me dena pad rha hai.shayad tu meri kismat me hi nhi,ya maine hi apni kismat kharab kar di.or promise kar apne face pe hamesha smile rakhegi,or scooty mat lena,please, Banglore me nhi,baki khi oor le lena.pta h pehli baar gao me boor ho rha hu,ab to shayad khi bhi chale jau,khi bhi acha nhi lagta,bas ek jagah bethe bethe tere bare me sochta rehta hu,bhoot sara time bitaya hai tere sath,jab bhi purani bate sochta hu to bas ek choti si smile aa jati hai face pe.kaise tere sath paglo jaisi harkate ki thi,vo chidiya banana,ya yoga karna,or pushup bhi.pta hai humne movie bhi dekhi thi,but adhi hi dekhi.movie tu dekh rhi thi or mai tuje,lekin tu kambal me thi or andhera tha,par teri ankhe dikh rhi thi thodi thodi.maine tujhe bhoot pareshaan kia hai islie tere pas reason hai muje chorke jane ka,lenin mai kabhi kisi oor se pyar nhi kar paunga,jaise tujhse karta tha.i m sorry,kash meri life ke 7 sal tuje lag jae,taki jitna bhi time maine waste kia tera vo tujhe wapas mil jae. Bye sam.

Yours
Jull